Bloggeron

There is a lot of information about what you should do after you get dumped from a relationship. A lot of it is aimed at getting you to tone down the feelings of panic and desperation because unless you do, experiencing the magic of making up will only be a dream.

The famous 30 day sabbatical where after getting dumped, a person shows courage and restraint and agrees with the break up and then walks away has been well documented. But what happens following the 30 days. Well, we will give you some ideas but be warned, unless you’ve completed the period ex free, then you’re really not ready to get back with your ex.

How To Reconnect With Your Ex

The idea behind agreeing with a break up and walking away includes the following:

- you don’t blow your chances of a reunion by becoming ugly and creating a scene
- it gives you time to temper your feelings of panic and desperation
- it gives you a chance to reflect on your relationship and your ex partner and whether it’s a situation you really want to return to and
- it gives you the chance to even date other people

But the whole aim is to clear your head and eliminating those thoughts of desperation because the reconnection stage is going to require you to be totally okay with yourself. In other words, you should be at a stage where you’re feeling like you can take your relationship or leave it.

The last thing you want to be feeling is like jumping back into the relationship come hell or high water or dropping to your hands and knees just at the sound of the voice of your ex. If this is how you feel then the bad news is you’re not ready to reconnect.

The beauty of the magic of making up comes from the fact two people have had time to reflect over their differences and when it’s crunch time, the emotions which consume them are basically reciprocal. It’s a great feeling yet many spurned lovers fall over at the last hurdle by making some stupid mistakes.

Here are the two biggest mistakes you can make when reconnecting with your ex:

- You sound desperate on the phone and what this will do is make you more unattractive. It’s like wimpy behavior and just put yourself in the other person’s shoes…how does this sort of behavior affect you when it’s being directed towards you.

- the second mistake comes with the apology. Well, an apology is fine but how sincere is it. Here’s what most people say in an apology…”I’m so sorry for causing you any grief and am truly sorry but…”

See the problem with the word but. It indicates it’s still about you and you’re not sincere. Eliminate it from your vocabulary during the reconnection stage. If you weren’t totally to blame and your ex contributed in some way to the problems, then let them admit it. Don’t tell them.