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Dan’s a workaholic. He loves what he does and will regularly work ten or twelve hour days. Because he’s so often absent, Lisa feels he isn’t there for her. Lisa, on the other hand, invests all her time in meeting the needs of their children. This leaves Dan feeling that she doesn’t have time for him.

Can this relationship be saved?

Should it be saved?

Here are the steps to take to save a relationship in turmoil.

Step One – decide if the relationship is worth saving. Almost any relationship can be saved. However, the process can be a rough road to travel and if both parties aren’t dedicated to making it work, there’s little likelihood of success. If you’re concerned about how to save a relationship, first make sure both parties are committed to saving it.

Step Two – pinpoint the problem in the relationship. Solving relationship problems isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Often, problems are masked by symptoms. For example, an affair is often viewed as the problem in a relationship when it’s actually a symptom hiding a much deeper problem. It may be that there’s a lack of intimacy in the relationship. It may be that there’s a lack of trust, or an addiction to porn or an addiction to sex. The affair is the result of an underlying core issue.

So it’s important to uncover the core issue (or issues) of the trouble in order to save the relationship.

Step Three – be open. Once you’ve identified the primary issues, it’s time to express your feelings and listen to your partner’s concerns. This can be a difficult process, but it can also be a rewarding process. Let your partner know how committed you are to reconnecting by holding your partner’s hand during this process.

There will be times when you’ll hear words that hurt. Remember that you and your partner aren’t trying to hurt each other. This is your opportunity to truly understand the depth of the problems that exist in the relationship and how they impact each of you. And this should be done with the sole purpose of saving the relationship.

Step Four – create an action plan. Once there’s a clear understanding between you and your partner of the core issues within the relationship, it’s time to decide how to deal with them. Work together to determine the steps each of you will take to correct the situation.

Step Five – follow through. An action plan will solve nothing unless you follow through. If you haven’t been spending enough time together, and your plan calls for a date night every week … set a night and keep that date no matter what. Short of an emergency, there should be no exceptions. If a lack of communication is a problem and you’ve decided to spend twenty minutes before bed talking … follow through.

Finally, understand that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Solving relationship problems requires the complete commitment of both parties, and it can be a rough road with plenty of ups and downs. But isn’t spending your life with the one you love worth it?